There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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