i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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