Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
