Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
