i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
