He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
