People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
