I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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