yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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