We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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