My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
