I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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