She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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