tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
