The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
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