I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
