I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She needs sedatives and a leash
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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