Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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