We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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