No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
