so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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