cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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