Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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