I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
