More tranny stories later!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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