When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
