I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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