In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
