So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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