If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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