it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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