just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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