the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
