This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
