I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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