It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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