This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
