I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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