I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
