Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize