that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
