Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
