if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
