He is an equal opportunity slut.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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