I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
