I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
