my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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