shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
