He asked me if I "almost moaned"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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