How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
