your parents love me but you hate me
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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