Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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