i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
