So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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