Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
