my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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