I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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