i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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