the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
